Your Non-Negotiables: The Boundaries That Protect Your Energy in Perimenopause

If you’ve been following along this month, you know we’re diving deep into boundaries — the kind that help you feel less overwhelmed, more grounded, and more like yourself again. And today we’re going right to the heart of it:

✨ Non-negotiables.
The small but powerful commitments you make to yourself that you do not compromise.

And no… they’re not selfish. In fact, they might be one of the most important tools you have during perimenopause.

What Are Non-Negotiables?

Non-negotiables are the practices, habits, and limits that protect your energy, support your health, and keep your mental and emotional well-being intact. They are the things you choose ahead of time that you will not sacrifice — even when you’re overwhelmed, busy, or pulled in a dozen directions.

Think of them as your personal “baseline,” the minimum level of care you commit to giving your body and mind.

During perimenopause—when your hormones fluctuate unpredictably and your nervous system is more sensitive—non-negotiables become even more important. Research shows that routines regulating sleep, stress, and blood sugar help stabilize mood, reduce symptoms, and support overall resilience (North American Menopause Society, 2022).

Why We Need Non-Negotiables in Perimenopause

Here’s the truth:
Perimenopause is not the time to push through, say yes to everything, or run on fumes.

This season demands more energy, more rest, and more intentional support. Your body is working hard behind the scenes, recalibrating systems that affect everything from your mood and stress response to your sleep and metabolism.

Non-negotiables help you:

reduce decision fatigue
protect your physical and emotional bandwidth
stay consistent with habits that support hormone balance
prevent burnout
communicate your needs clearly
respond instead of react

And maybe most importantly:

They put YOU in the driver's seat taking back control of your health and wellness.

How to Determine Your Non-Negotiables

Here are a few simple questions to help you uncover them:

1. What drains you the fastest?

Your non-negotiables often protect you from your biggest energy leaks.

Examples:

“I don’t stay up past 10:00 during the week.”
“I don’t say yes to last-minute commitments.”
“I don’t skip breakfast.”

2. What supports you the most?

These are the habits that give you energy, clarity, or steadiness.

Examples:

8 hours of sleep
Walking 10–15 minutes after meals
Taking 20 minutes for yourself before anyone else needs you
A technology cutoff after 8 p.m.

3. What helps you feel like yourself?

Your mood and sense of groundedness matter too.

Examples:

Quiet coffee before speaking to anyone
A gratitude practice
Time alone after work
Not discussing stressful topics in the evening

4. What is essential for your health during this season?

This could include physical, mental, or emotional health.

Examples:

Consistent meals to support blood sugar
Supplements or medications
Therapy
Saying “no” to environments where you feel pressured or overwhelmed

How to Communicate Your Non-Negotiables (Without the Guilt)

Yes, this part can feel uncomfortable — especially if you’re used to being the helper, the fixer, the one who holds everything together.

But remember:
Clear communication prevents resentment and misunderstandings.

Here’s what helps:

1. Keep it simple and direct.

“You may not understand yet, but this is something I need for my health right now.”

2. Communicate early when possible.

Especially during the holidays.
Try:
“I want to enjoy the season, so here’s what I’m committing to…”

3. Don’t over-explain.

Boundary-setting does NOT require justification.

4. Use the “I” approach.

“I need to leave by 9:00 so I can sleep well and feel my best tomorrow.”

5. Be consistent.

People adapt quickly when your limit is clear and steady.

How to Stick With Your Non-Negotiables (Even When Life Gets Busy)

Let’s be honest… this is the hardest part.

Here’s what makes a difference:

✔ Write them down

Put them somewhere you see daily (phone wallpaper, mirror, planner). If needed, put it in your calendar and block out time for them.

✔ Start with 1–3

More than that becomes overwhelming.

✔ Identify your “why”

“I’m protecting my sleep because I feel like a different person when I’m rested.”

✔ Expect some pushback

Not everyone will like your new boundaries. That’s okay.
The people who care will adjust.

✔ Ask for support

“Can you help me protect my quiet time by handling morning routine on Tuesdays?”

✔ Celebrate your wins

Every time you follow through, your confidence grows.

Examples of Realistic Non-Negotiables for Perimenopause

Here are some to spark ideas:

I don’t skip meals — especially breakfast.
I move my body every day, even if it’s just 10 minutes.
I don’t attend events that leave me drained for days after.
I go to bed by 10:00 (even during the holidays!).
I don’t apologize for prioritizing my health.
I take one day a week for rest and reset.
I make sure to drink the right amount of water everyday.
I don’t engage in drama or conversations that spike my stress.
I have tech-free time for at least one hour a day.
I get outside into the sunlight for at least 10 minutes.
I take breaks before I hit burnout.

Your Turn: Choose Your 3 Non-Negotiables This Week

Pick THREE things that will support your body, energy, and peace right now.

Then ask yourself:

👉 What is one thing I can communicate today that will make this week easier?
👉 Where can I protect my energy without guilt?
👉 What will future me thank me for?

You deserve boundaries.
You deserve support.
You deserve to feel good in this season.

And these small, powerful non-negotiables?
They’re your way back to yourself.

Need support in determining and sticking to your non-negotiables? Join us in The Pause Party where you will get the support and encouragement you need. The Pause Party