Why Motivation Isn’t the Answer (Especially in Perimenopause)
“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”
— James Clear
If you’ve ever thought, “I just need to get motivated,” you’re not alone.
We’ve been taught that motivation is the magic ingredient for change. That if we could just feel more inspired, energized, or disciplined, everything would fall into place.
But here’s the problem—motivation is unreliable, especially during perimenopause.
When hormones are shifting, sleep is inconsistent, energy fluctuates, and stress feels heavier than it used to, motivation often becomes the first thing to disappear. And when we rely on motivation alone, it’s easy to feel like we’re failing… when in reality, we’re just human.
Motivation Isn’t a Character Trait—It’s a State
Research shows that motivation is closely tied to things like:
- sleep quality
- stress levels
- emotional state
- physical energy
All of which can be unpredictable during perimenopause.
So when motivation dips, it’s not because you’re lazy or lacking willpower—it’s because your body and brain are responding to real physiological changes.
“When you’re tired, overwhelmed, or hormonally off balance, willpower becomes a very limited resource.”
If motivation is your only plan, consistency becomes nearly impossible.
Why Relying on Motivation Can Hold You Back
Here’s what often happens when motivation is the driver:
- You start strong on “good” days
- You stop on low-energy or stressful days
- You fall into all-or-nothing thinking
- You feel discouraged and start questioning yourself
Over time, this cycle creates frustration instead of progress.
The truth is, lasting change doesn’t come from feeling motivated—it comes from feeling supported.
What Works Better Than Motivation
Instead of asking, “How do I stay motivated?”
Try asking, “What will help me keep going on hard days?”
Try asking, “What will help me keep going on hard days?”
That’s where consistency is built.
1. Create a Plan for Low-Motivation Days
Assume motivation will dip—and plan for it.
Examples:
- “If I don’t have energy for 30 minutes, I’ll do 5.”
- “If today doesn’t go as planned, that doesn't affect tomorrow.”
- “Something is always better than nothing.”
Consistency thrives when you remove the pressure to do it perfectly.
2. Build Routines That Don’t Require Decision-Making
The fewer decisions you have to make, the easier habits become and the better it is for your perimenopausal brain. Brain fog in perimenopause is real!
Instead of:
- “I’ll exercise when I feel like it.”
- "I'll worry about dinner when I get home."
Try:
- “I walk after lunch.”
- “I journal with my morning coffee.”
- “I stretch before bed.”
- "I pack my gym back the night before."
- "I cut up fruits and vegetables when I get home from the store so they are ready to eat."
Routines carry you when motivation can’t.
3. Normalize Setbacks (They’re Part of the Process)
Setbacks don’t mean you’re failing—they mean you’re human. Setbacks are essential to be able to learn and grow!
In perimenopause, setbacks are a valuable time to review and reflect:
- Do I need more rest?
- Does my plan need adjusting?
- What do I need to keep moving forward?
- What might I be afraid of?
Progress isn’t about never falling off—it’s about getting back on without punishment or shame.
4. Celebrate Wins—Especially the Small Ones
Small wins matter more than big bursts of effort.
- Showing up tired still counts
- Doing less still counts
- Choosing consistency over intensity counts
Celebrating effort reinforces the behavior you want to repeat.
5. Focus on Systems, Not Willpower
Instead of relying on motivation, lean into:
- structure
- tracking
- accountability
- community
These create momentum even when you don’t feel like it.
And during perimenopause, momentum built on compassion is far more sustainable than motivation built on pressure.
A Gentle Reframe
You don’t need to try harder.
You don’t need more discipline.
You don’t need to wait for motivation to show up.
You don’t need more discipline.
You don’t need to wait for motivation to show up.
You need systems that support you, flexibility when things don’t go as planned, and permission to meet yourself where you are.
That’s how consistency is built.
That’s how change lasts.
That’s how change lasts.
Want Support Beyond Motivation?
This is one of the exact topics I dive deeper into in my book,
Don’t Make New Year’s Resolutions: A Guide to Creating Habits That Stick, where we focus on building habits that work with your life—not against it.
Don’t Make New Year’s Resolutions: A Guide to Creating Habits That Stick, where we focus on building habits that work with your life—not against it.
And if you’re craving encouragement, accountability, and a community of women who truly get the ups and downs of perimenopause, The Pause Party is a supportive place to keep this work going.
You don’t have to rely on motivation.
You don’t have to do this alone. đź’›
You don’t have to do this alone. đź’›
