The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself This Year
As we head into Christmas, so much of the focus is on giving to others. Gifts under the tree. Meals prepared. Traditions upheld. Expectations met.
And while there is so much beauty in that, I want to gently offer a different idea this Christmas Eve.
What if the best gift you could give yourself this year isn’t something you wrap… but something you choose?
The Gift of Saying No
For many of us — especially during perimenopause — the holiday season can feel like a tug-of-war between what’s expected of us and what we actually need.
Your energy may not be what it used to be. Your tolerance for overcommitment may be lower. Your body and nervous system may be asking for something different this season.
And that’s not a failure.
That’s wisdom.
That’s wisdom.
One of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself is the ability to say no without guilt — because every no is really a yes to something else.
- Saying no to another obligation may be saying yes to rest
- Saying no to staying longer may be saying yes to your sleep
- Saying no to explaining yourself may be saying yes to peace
This is what boundaries really are — not walls, but protective filters that allow what matters most to remain intact.
Why This Gift Matters in Perimenopause
Perimenopause has a way of stripping away what no longer works.
What you could push through before may now leave you depleted.
What you used to tolerate may now feel overwhelming.
What once felt manageable may now feel draining.
What you used to tolerate may now feel overwhelming.
What once felt manageable may now feel draining.
This season of life is an invitation to reassess — not because you’re “less capable,” but because your body is asking for a new rhythm.
Boundaries help you:
- Preserve your energy
- Reduce stress and resentment
- Protect your mental and emotional health
- Stay connected to yourself
And the holidays often make it very clear where boundaries are needed most.
The Guilt That Comes With Choosing Yourself
If saying no feels uncomfortable, you’re not doing it wrong — you’re just human.
Many of us were taught that being “good” meant being accommodating, flexible, and available. So when we begin honoring our limits, guilt can sneak in.
Here’s a helpful reframe:
Guilt doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.
It often means you made a new one.
Boundaries don’t mean you love people less.
They mean you love yourself enough to care for your capacity.
They mean you love yourself enough to care for your capacity.
And when you’re well-supported, rested, and grounded — you actually show up more authentically for the people you love.
Making This a Gift That Lasts All Year
The beauty of this gift is that it doesn’t expire on December 26th.
You can carry it into:
- How you schedule your time
- How you respond to requests
- How you prioritize rest and recovery
- How you move into the new year
Boundaries aren’t set once and forgotten. They’re something you revisit, adjust, and refine as your needs change.
And that’s okay.
This isn’t about perfection. It’s about permission.
A Gentle Christmas Wish for You
As you celebrate Christmas — whether it’s loud or quiet, joyful or complicated — my wish for you is this:
That you give yourself permission to rest.
That you release what no longer serves you.
That you honor what your body and heart are asking for.
And that you remember you don’t have to do this season — or this stage of life — alone.
That you release what no longer serves you.
That you honor what your body and heart are asking for.
And that you remember you don’t have to do this season — or this stage of life — alone.
May this Christmas mark the beginning of choosing yourself with more compassion, clarity, and confidence — not just today, but all year long.
Merry Christmas,
and may the gift you give yourself be one that truly lasts. 🎄💛
and may the gift you give yourself be one that truly lasts. 🎄💛
