Reframing Your Thoughts During Perimenopause: A Simple Shift That Can Change Your Day
Have you ever woken up determined that today is going to be a good day? 🌞
You slept pretty well.
You have your coffee.
You're feeling optimistic.
Maybe you even tell yourself:
"Today I'm going to be positive. I'm going to get things done. I'm going to take care of myself."
And then...
Your kid needs something.
Your husband says something that rubs you the wrong way.
You spill your coffee.
You get an email you weren't expecting.
Your body decides to throw a random symptom into the mix.
And suddenly your brain goes from:
"I've got this!"
to:
"Well, today is officially a disaster." 😂
And once that thought gets going, it can snowball pretty quickly.
"I'm already behind."
"I can't keep up with everything."
"I never have enough energy anymore."
"I used to be able to handle this."
"Why is everything so much harder now?"
Before you know it, one frustrating moment has turned into a full-blown story about how terrible the entire day—and maybe your entire life—is going to be.
Sound familiar?
You're not alone.
And here's the good news:
You don't have to believe every thought your brain hands you.
You can learn to reframe it.
🧠 What Is Reframing?
Reframing is simply the practice of looking at a situation or thought from a different perspective.
It doesn't mean pretending something isn't happening.
It doesn't mean forcing yourself to think positively.
And it doesn't mean turning:
"This is really hard."
into:
"Everything is AMAZING!" 😂
Instead, reframing gives you an opportunity to step back and ask:
"Is there another way I could look at this?"
Because sometimes we can't change the situation.
But we can change the way we view it.
And changing the way we view something can change how we experience it—and how we choose to respond.
🌿 Why Does Our Brain Jump to the Worst?
If your brain tends to overthink, overanalyze, jump to conclusions, or immediately assume the worst...
Congratulations.
You're human. 😂
Our brains are designed to notice potential problems and threats.
That can be incredibly helpful when we're actually in danger.
But our brains don't always distinguish between:
"There is a bear chasing me."
and
"My boss sent me an email that says, 'Can we talk?'"
😳😂
The brain can quickly fill in the blanks.
And during perimenopause, when you're already dealing with hormonal fluctuations, stress, poor sleep, changing emotions, and a whole host of new experiences, it's easy for those thoughts to become even louder.
"Something is wrong."
"I'm not handling this well."
"This is never going to get better."
"I can't do this."
The thought itself may show up automatically.
That doesn't mean you have to automatically follow it.
That's where reframing becomes a skill.
💭 Reframing Is a Skill You Can Practice
Think about reframing like building a muscle.
The first time you try it, you might not notice much.
You may catch the negative thought after you've already spent an hour worrying.
That's okay.
You're noticing.
With practice, you may start catching it sooner.
Eventually, you might notice the thought as it's happening.
And eventually...
You may even learn to pause before reacting.
That's progress.
Not perfection.
So let's break it down.
🌱 The 4 Steps to Reframe a Thought
1. 👀 Notice & Name
First, you have to notice what's happening.
Pay attention to those automatic thoughts.
Maybe it's:
"I'm never going to get everything done."
"I'm too tired to do anything."
"My body is falling apart."
"Everyone else seems to be handling this better than I am."
"I can't do this."
When you notice one, simply name it.
"I'm having the thought that I can't do this."
That little bit of distance can be powerful.
You are noticing the thought instead of automatically becoming the thought.
💛 2. Reply
Now, get curious.
Instead of immediately accepting the thought as fact, ask yourself a few questions.
Is this actually true?
Am I making an assumption?
Am I jumping to the worst possible conclusion?
Is there another explanation?
And one of my favorite questions:
What would I say to my best friend if she were thinking this?
Would you tell her:
"Yep. You're a complete failure."
Probably not. 😂
You'd probably say something more like:
"You've had a rough day. That doesn't mean you're failing."
Or:
"You don't have to figure everything out today."
Or:
"Let's just take this one thing at a time."
So why not offer yourself that same compassion?
🌿 3. Replace
Now it's time to replace the original thought with something that is more neutral, realistic, or supportive.
Notice I didn't say "positive."
Because sometimes a wildly positive statement doesn't feel believable.
If you're having a terrible day and your brain says:
"Everything is awful."
Trying to replace it with:
"Everything is wonderful!"
probably isn't going to work.
😂
Instead, try:
"Today isn't going the way I planned, but I can handle the next thing in front of me."
Instead of:
"I'll never feel like myself again."
Try:
"I don't feel like myself right now, but I'm still learning what I need."
Instead of:
"My body is failing me."
Try:
"My body is changing, and I'm learning how to support it."
Instead of:
"I completely blew my healthy eating today."
Try:
"One meal doesn't determine my overall health. I can make a supportive choice at my next meal."
The goal isn't to convince yourself that everything is perfect.
The goal is to create a thought that is more balanced and useful.
✨ 4. Practice
This is the part we often skip.
We learn the tool...
And then forget to use it when we actually need it. 😂
That's okay.
Practice when the stakes are low.
Notice a small frustration.
Catch a minor negative thought.
Pause.
Reframe it.
The more you practice, the easier it becomes to recognize your thought patterns.
You may start noticing:
"Oh...I always assume the worst when I'm tired."
Or:
"I tend to tell myself I've ruined everything when I make one mistake."
Or:
"I compare myself to who I used to be a lot."
That awareness is valuable.
Because once you can see the pattern...
you can begin to change the pattern.
💛 Mantras Can Help Too
Sometimes, when we're in the middle of an emotional moment, we're not going to remember a four-step process.
That's where a simple mantra can help.
A mantra is simply a short phrase you can repeat to yourself to help redirect your thoughts.
Some you might try:
🌿 "This is hard, but I can handle this moment."
💛 "I don't have to figure everything out today."
🌱 "My body is communicating, not failing."
✨ "I can do hard things one step at a time."
🤍 "I can be kind to myself while I figure this out."
🌞 "There is still good here."
💭 "I don't have to believe every thought I have."
And of course...
"Yet."
"I haven't figured this out...yet."
"I don't feel like myself...yet."
"I haven't found what works for me...yet."
Sometimes one little word can create just enough space for possibility.
🌸 Let's Go Back to That Bad Day
Remember the woman who started her morning determined to have a good day?
Then life happened.
She spilled her coffee.
Her schedule got thrown off.
She got an annoying email.
Her body decided to remind her that perimenopause was still happening.
Her first thought:
"This day is a disaster."
Using our four steps, she might catch herself.
👀 Notice & Name
"I'm having the thought that today is a disaster."
💛 Reply
"Is that actually true? Or have a few frustrating things happened?"
🌿 Replace
"Today hasn't gone as planned, but it's still just a day. I can handle the next thing."
✨ Practice
Take a breath.
Make another cup of coffee.
😂
And keep going.
Did reframing magically make the annoying things disappear?
No.
But it changed her relationship with them.
Instead of allowing one frustrating moment to determine the rest of her day, she created a little space between what happened and how she responded.
And that little space can be powerful.
🧠 You Can't Always Change the Situation
There will be things you can't control.
Hormonal fluctuations.
Other people's behavior.
Unexpected problems.
A bad night's sleep.
A frustrating conversation.
The traffic.
The weather.
Your teenager's attitude. 😂
But you can ask:
"What part of this is within my control?"
Maybe you can't change what happened.
But you can decide what you do next.
You can choose your response.
You can choose how you speak to yourself.
You can choose whether you let one moment become the story of your entire day.
And sometimes...
that's where your power lives.
🌿 Want to Keep the Conversation Going?
Mindset is something we practice—not something we master.
If this month has you thinking a little differently about perimenopause, I'd love for you to keep the conversation going with us.
💛 Join Stronger in the Change
My free Facebook community, Stronger in the Change, is a place to connect with other women navigating perimenopause and beyond.
Come ask questions, share your experiences, participate in our weekly conversations, and have plenty of those "Oh my gosh...me too!" moments.
🌸 Ready for More Support?
If you're looking for a place to go deeper, The Pause Party is my online community where we combine education, coaching, accountability, practical resources, and connection.
Inside, you'll have a place to learn about what's happening in your changing body, set small goals, put what you're learning into practice, and connect with women who are figuring this out right alongside you.
You don't have to navigate this season alone.
Come as you are. We'll figure out the next step together. 💛
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