🌞 The Power of Positivity in Perimenopause
Have you ever had one of those days where it feels like everything is going wrong?
You wake up tired.
Your coffee doesn't taste quite right.
Your jeans are doing that annoying thing where they fit perfectly yesterday but seem to have personally betrayed you today. 😂
You can't remember why you walked into the kitchen.
Then you catch yourself in the mirror and think:
"Ugh."
And from there, the spiral begins.
"I hate how my body is changing."
"I'm always tired."
"Nothing works anymore."
"I used to be able to do this."
"I don't know how much longer I can do this."
One frustrating thought becomes another...
And before you know it, you've spent the entire morning mentally building a case for why perimenopause is terrible and your life is going downhill.
Sound familiar?
I've been there.
And I'm guessing I'm not the only one.
But here's something I've been thinking about:
What if we don't have to choose between acknowledging what's hard and looking for what's good?
What if positivity isn't about pretending everything is wonderful?
What if it's simply about learning to notice the good that's already there?
💛 What Does It Mean to Be Positive?
Positive thinking doesn't mean walking around with a permanent smile plastered on your face.
It doesn't mean ignoring your problems.
It doesn't mean pretending you're grateful for every hot flash, sleepless night, or hormonal mood swing. 😂
And it certainly doesn't mean telling another woman who's struggling:
"Just think positive!"
Please don't do that. 😂
Instead, positive thinking is more about intentionally looking for possibility, perspective, gratitude, hope, and things that are within your control.
You can acknowledge:
"This is hard."
while also thinking:
"What could make this a little easier?"
You can say:
"My body is changing."
while also thinking:
"What can I learn about supporting it?"
You can admit:
"I don't like this part of getting older."
while also recognizing:
"There are parts of this season that I really enjoy."
Both can be true.
And I think that's where healthy positivity lives.
🌿 Are You More Optimistic or Pessimistic?
Let's have a little fun.
Imagine you wake up after a terrible night's sleep.
You have a headache.
You're exhausted.
You have a long day ahead of you.
Which thought sounds more like you?
🌧️ The Pessimistic Response
"Great. Another terrible night."
"I'm going to be exhausted all day."
"I can't keep doing this."
"I'm never going to sleep normally again."
"Why does everything have to be so hard?"
And maybe you spend the rest of the day looking for evidence that it's going to be terrible.
Your coworker annoys you.
Your lunch isn't very good.
Your afternoon meeting runs long.
Yep.
Terrible day. Just like you predicted.
🌞 The Optimistic Response
"I didn't sleep well, and I'm definitely tired."
"Today may be a little harder."
"What can I do to support myself today?"
"Maybe I can go to bed a little earlier tonight."
"This is one difficult night. It doesn't mean every night will be like this."
Notice something?
The optimistic woman isn't pretending she's not tired.
She's simply not allowing one difficult experience to become a prediction about her entire future.
That's an important distinction.
🧠 What Does Positive Thinking Look Like During Perimenopause?
Positive thinking during perimenopause might look like:
🌿 Looking for what's working instead of only noticing what's wrong.
💛 Recognizing small wins instead of waiting for everything to be perfect.
🌱 Believing that you can learn and adapt as your body changes.
✨ Remaining open to possibility.
🤍 Speaking to yourself with compassion instead of criticism.
😂 Finding something to laugh about—even when things aren't particularly funny.
And perhaps most importantly...
Noticing the good without denying the hard.
Because perimenopause can be hard.
You don't have to pretend otherwise.
📚 What Does the Research Say?
Interestingly, researchers have started looking beyond the symptoms of menopause and asking a different question:
What about women's positive well-being during this transition?
A systematic review examining positive well-being during the menopausal transition found that menopause itself wasn't necessarily associated with a loss of positive well-being. The researchers suggested that positive well-being may remain available as a resilience factor women can draw on as they navigate the challenges of midlife.
That's an idea I really love.
Because sometimes we talk about perimenopause as though the only things happening are the difficult things.
But that's not the whole story.
You can be experiencing hot flashes and laughing with your friends.
You can be exhausted and excited about a vacation.
You can be frustrated with your changing body and grateful for what your body allows you to do.
You can be struggling and still have joy.
Research has also found connections between attitudes toward menopause and quality of life. In one study of midlife women in Hong Kong, women with more positive attitudes toward menopause tended to report higher quality of life.
And research from the Study of Women's Health Across the Nation found that more positive attitudes toward menopause and aging, greater optimism, and greater resilience were associated with better psychological well-being later in life.
Now, let's make an important distinction.
These studies don't prove that simply thinking positively will prevent symptoms or make them disappear.
Your hormones are still changing.
Your sleep may still be disrupted.
You may still experience hot flashes, brain fog, anxiety, or other symptoms.
Positive thinking isn't a treatment for those things.
But your mindset may influence how you experience, interpret, and respond to this season.
And that's something we can work with
🌞 7 Ways to Build More Positivity During Perimenopause
The good news?
Positivity is something you can practice.
You don't have to wake up tomorrow as a completely different person.
Start small.
1. 😂 Find the Humor
Sometimes you just have to laugh.
Forgot why you walked into the room?
Laugh.
Put your phone down and immediately forget where you put it?
Laugh.
Started sweating because you were standing next to the oven for approximately 14 seconds?
Laugh. 😂
Humor doesn't erase the hard stuff.
It just gives us another way to experience it.
2. 💛 Surround Yourself With Positivity
Pay attention to the people, conversations, and content you're consuming.
Do you spend an hour scrolling through posts that leave you feeling inadequate?
Maybe it's time to unfollow a few things.
Are there people who consistently make you laugh, encourage you, or remind you of your strengths?
Spend more time with them.
What we surround ourselves with matters.
3. 🌿 Practice Positive Self-Talk
Listen to how you talk to yourself.
Would you say the same things to your best friend?
If not, try changing the conversation.
Instead of:
"I can't do this."
Try:
"This is hard, but I can take it one step at a time."
Instead of:
"My body isn't cooperating."
Try:
"My body is communicating, and I'm learning to listen."
4. ✨ Celebrate the Small Wins
Don't wait until you've reached the big goal.
Celebrate the little things.
💛 You went for the walk.
💛 You drank more water.
💛 You went to bed earlier.
💛 You spoke up for yourself.
💛 You rested instead of pushing through.
💛 You handled something differently than you would have six months ago.
Those things count.
Progress deserves to be noticed.
5. 🔎 Watch for Your Triggers
Pay attention to what consistently pulls you into a negative mindset.
Is it social media?
Certain conversations?
Comparing yourself to your younger self?
Lack of sleep?
Certain people?
A particular time of day?
You don't have to eliminate every trigger.
But once you recognize your patterns, you have more opportunity to respond differently.
6. 🌱 Feed Yourself With Inspiration
What fills your cup?
A good book?
Music?
Nature?
A podcast?
Prayer or meditation?
Journaling?
A conversation with a friend?
Find things that remind you of possibility, growth, and hope.
And then actually make space for them.
7. 💭 Reframe the Negative Thought
When you catch yourself thinking something discouraging, pause.
Ask:
Is this completely true?
Is there another way I could look at this?
What would I say to a friend who was thinking this?
You don't have to turn:
"This is awful."
into:
"This is AMAZING!"
😂
Maybe the reframe is simply:
"This is difficult, but I'm learning how to handle it."
That's enough.
🌿 Positivity Doesn't Mean Pretending
This may be the most important thing I want you to take away from this post.
You don't have to be positive all the time.
You are allowed to have bad days.
You're allowed to be frustrated.
You're allowed to be angry.
You're allowed to cry.
You're allowed to say:
"This really stinks." 😂
Positive thinking isn't about eliminating negative emotions.
It's about not allowing negative thoughts to become the only story you tell yourself.
There can be hard...
and good.
There can be frustration...
and gratitude.
There can be uncertainty...
and hope.
There can be change...
and growth.
💛 A Little Perspective
One of my favorite quotes is:
"We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses."
— Abraham Lincoln
Whether or not Lincoln actually said it is a whole different conversation. 😂
But I love the idea behind it.
The thorns are still there.
We're not pretending they aren't.
We're simply choosing to notice the roses too. 🌹
And maybe that's what positivity can look like during perimenopause.
Not pretending the transition is easy.
Not forcing yourself to be grateful for symptoms you don't enjoy.
Not putting a smile on your face when you really want to scream.
Instead...
Look for the roses.
Look for the laughter.
Look for the growth.
Look for the things you're learning.
Look for the people who support you.
Look for the moments that make you smile.
Look for what's still possible.
Because even in a season of tremendous change...
there is still good here. 💛
If you need to surround yourself with more positivity, the door is always open in my free Facebook group: Stronger In The Change
If you are looking for more support and accountability to build a positive mindset, come join us in The Pause Party
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